Seeing as how our Great Leader has lost respect for his TelePrompter (understandable with its recent blogging... it's starting to sound like a disgruntled Hillary supporter), it's clear that someone had to step up to help out the Big Guy. Cue... me. The staffers even acknowledged me with stage lighting. I think they lit me quite nicely, don't you think, TP?
Tele, the news outlets are on to you. I just don't think he can trust what you're feeding him anymore. After all, whose gaffes were those with the Irish PM, anyway? Oh yeah, and I heard Rahm talking to someone... he's sure that the Special Olympics line was inserted after the rest of the interview material was loaded. Fudging the program a bit, are we, TP?
In the meantime, I've been brought in to help smooth things out. After all, I'm more subtle. I don't need to stand right up next to the stage... I can hang out in the back of the room a bit. It's also easier for me to get drinks and watch the younger members of the press corps.
Don't worry, Tele. I'm sure He'll find some use for you. Maybe Malia and Sasha can use you for video games or school speeches. In the meantime, someone has to sort out this mess you've caused.
No hard feelings, I hope? I'll be taking over as WOTUS from now on.
